Steve Brookstein is SUCH a nice guy… Er NAHT!

19 Dec

Steve Brookstein could start an argument with a banana if it had a Twitter account (‘@ Bananna, yellow sucks’). But last night’s victim of choice was none other than One Direction cutie Louis Tomlinson’s mum!

The sour X Factor grinch caught Louis’ mum’s attention after he started tweeting rather rude comments about her star son’s first audition, describing Louis the “luckiest man in music” for managing to land a record deal.

Louis’ mum replied:

“Hi I’m Louis’s mum. My family have always liked you and bought your records. Why be so cruel?”

“Why shame him in public? He was sad about his audition. He was incredibly nervous.”
“He is 18 Steve! I honestly thought you were a nice bloke. Sadly for us now what we were told about you seems accurate.”

Failed singer Steve replied to her by suggesting she buy her son some singing lessons:

“If you are Louis’s mum. Get the poor lad some singing lessons for Christmas. A couple of dozen at least,” he said.

“I’ve heard his YouTube. Auto-Tune all over it. I don’t blame him. I blame Simon [Cowell] for putting him in the public eye.”

“If he was a builder he wouldn’t be able to work on a house. He would need to learn his trade. Why do you think this is OK? Listen, he is a rouge trader. A Mickey Mouse cowboy builder. Don’t blame me for exposing his poor workmanship. End of.”

Have we missed something here – is Mickey Mouse a builder? But..how would he use the tools with his tiny paws? Do mice even have opposable thumbs? Ok Steve, we are listening now, but seriously …. A ‘rouge’ trader?

Steve Brookstein, Café Nero hero

Steve is an authority on singing (and spelling) you see. He performs in Café Nero while Louis’ just performs in front of about 15 million people most Saturday nights. Steve is defo in a position to dish out advice so then Louis can one day be as successful as he is. Dare to dream Lou!

Steve also questioned how the teenager got his position in One Direction, commenting:

“There should be an enquiry over show fixing. He is shockingly terrible. It’s like Les Dawson comedy bad.”

Steve better back off or he’ll have us to deal with. No one messes with our boys. Ok, sounding a bit like the mafia now…..Can we at least get TEAM LOUIS t-shirts printed?

What did you think of Louis’ audition?

*This time we better add that Steve has recorded a single with all proceeds going to homeless charities. We forgot last time and are scared we might get an angry tweet.

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