Man masterbates over Lord Sugar. Well, tonights episode IS awfully exciting

15 Dec

We are very excited about tonight’s Apprentice, but possibly not as excited as some people.

A man in his thirties has reportedly been caught masturbating in a library – while reading Lord Alan Sugar’s autobiography.

There are no words to describe the horror this image has instilled. We are not denying that Alan Sugar is clearly an incredibly sexually alluring man (bit like Paul Daniels) but really, is nothing sacred? A witness has said:

“He spent about 20 minutes looking through the books in the business section before selecting Alan Sugar’s autobiography. He was behaving rather oddly so we kept an eye on him and then he just sat down with his coat over his lap and started pleasuring himself as he looked through the book.”

Well, it is nice to mix business with pleasure.

Cue the nausea, upon hearing the flattering news Lord Sugar told one follower on Twitter:

“Took me to seriously when I said cum and get it (sic)”.

Sugar’s number one fan received a caution and was banned from the library.

(Orignally written for




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