Hooray! BB is amazing again! (IT ACTUALLY IS. OK?)

25 Aug

Big Brother has not been top of our list of prioirites these last few months.

However, with the arrival of ULTIMATE BIG BROTHER things have had to change as an almighty shit bomb has gone off.

Surely they must have known? Surelyyyy?! Don’t know what we’re on about? Let us explain….

Remember the BB glory days of Chantelle and Preston? They were all in love but then left the house, realised how unsuited they were and got all divorced after just 9 months prompting Chantelle’s image overhaul and over zealous approaches to breast implants.

Well imagine if they got plonked back together for 3 weeks, stuck in a house and you were allowed to watch? And then that bloke called Nadia, Ulrika Johnson and Nikki Graeme were all thrown in to offer sympathy, emotional support and encouragement. SHIT BOMB? Oh yes!

The full line up of this glorious televisual treat is:

Brian Dowling who looked pissed off to see Nasty Nick who looked surprised to see John Mcririk who insulted Nikki Graeme up on arriving. BREATHE. Coolio who is anything but, Couple of the year, Preston and Chantelle, ex call girl MAKOSI (of swimming pool conception fame) Nadia, Ulrika Johnson and winner of BB11, Josie who was looking like she needed to lay one in her gusset as the onslaught of ‘slebs marched into the house.

We are stupidly excited! Congratulations Channel 4, this is a genius move!


John Mcririk has already proved to be just our type of housemate and suggested the housemates should try and get Chantelle and Preston back together. Maybe John could lend Preston some of his autoerotic underpants to get the ball rolling?

Meanwhile Chantelle had a chat with winner Josie in the bog about feeling “really emotional” and her head being all over the place. Astute Josie cleverly pointed out it was probably because she was about to live in the same house as her ex husband.

PS: We love the hilarious lunatic who came up with this video. Wherever they are, God Bless.

But before we finish let us not forget the day Preston made a guest appearance on Buzzcocks. If you are impatient skip to one minute in.


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